real talk

Real Talk: Amniocentesis and "Geriatric" Pregnancy

Photo by Fallon Michael on Unsplash

As I write this, I am 20 weeks pregnant with our second child. This pregnancy was not 100% planned. I was ready to have a second child earlier this year, but Mr. LL wanted to get some of the bigger home renovations done this year, before an infant was in the house, and so we had agreed to wait. Then I had issues renewing my birth control because my OB/GYN was on maternity leave and well, you see where this ended up..

So being pregnant during a global pandemic has not been ideal and has added some extra anxiety and stress to the whole ordeal. I’ve definitely felt more depressed this pregnancy and generally apprehensive and worried over the whole affair.

A few things are different this time around and not because of the pandemic.

I’m 35 years old this time. What does that matter you may ask? Well 35 is when they begin to call your pregnancy “geriatric”. That’s right. I’m 35 and considered f***ing geriatric by birthin’ standards. This means I’m “high risk” for things like genetic defects in the fetus, low birth weight, premature birth, other complications, etc.

I’m heavier this time. Hey, my body doesn’t bounce back like it once did and at the start of this pregnancy I was probably at my heaviest if not close, so that is also a tally against me in the “high risk” column for this pregnancy.

So with these two factors, when I took my NIPT (Non-Invasive Prenatal Test - which is just blood work) and it came back as “unable to run” because there wasn’t enough fetal DNA in my blood stream it made me worry.

I took the NIPT again and failed it again for the same reason. Now I started to panic.

Basically, at this point, I had one option for any kind of prenatal screenings and that was to have an amniocentesis done. Scary as that was, to me at least, in-and-of-itself there was the added stressor that Mr. LL would not be allowed to go with me to hold my hand. Yeah, during this pandemic, no one but momma is allowed at any and all doctor’s appointments.

I didn’t have to take the test but my doctor encouraged it since I have the “high risk” markers and no results can be a red flag that something is wrong (tbf, she also said it could be nothing). So, being the always-wants-to-be-prepared person that I am, I opted to have it done. If I needed to plan to raise and support a child with special needs and this test could tell me about it then I would like to know.

What is amniocentesis? Well, it’s when they take a very big needle and stick it in your stomach all the way down into your uterus and get a sample from the amniotic fluid around the baby. It really, REALLY, REALLY f***ing hurts. They had to do it twice on me, because the first needle WASN’T BIG ENOUGH. It took me a full four days to recover from it. The area where it happened felt tender and sore so I just rested. But I mean, I survived. Sure I cried the whole time, was terrified and in pain but it is what it is. Not everyone has as bad an experience as I did (I hope).

Then you wait for at least two weeks to get your results. I had an appointment my regular doctor exactly two weeks from the date of the amnio and they got the results while I was waiting in the exam room. Those two weeks were stressful and I worried about my unborn baby the entire time. The week of my doctor’s appointment I was a mental void. My brain basically shut down because I think I would have just worried and stressed the whole time if it hadn’t.

So what did the results say? I have a perfectly healthy baby (gender being withheld) growing inside of me. Thank The Goddess.

Trying to find my way back: Life updates and a new schedule

Oh hey, it’s only been over a year since I’ve updated anything on this site. I’m not even going to touch that 35 before 35 because it basically didn’t happen.

Anyway, first up, here’s what’s been going on in the Lazy Lady world:

  • Global pandemic: which has, in-turn, meant that I’m working from home almost exclusively now; Mr. LL lost his job but thankfully only for three months before he found a new one; and Lazy Baby had to stop going to daycare for a couple of months but is back now (it’s a small church daycare that is very vigilant on its health/cleaning policies, so I feel comfortable with this for now)

  • I turned 35, Mr. LL turned 30, and LB turned 3

  • We still haven’t done any home renovations yet

  • Oh and I’m pregnant

That about sums up life in a nutshell right now. With that said, I figure I’ll try to start blogging again. My goal is to post at least twice a week, probably on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’m narrowing down my topics to:

I’d also like to get back to doing Top Ten Tuesdays as well as share some things going on with Books, Booze and Bajingos. But baby steps. With that said there are other topics and interests that I’d love to share with you all but I will do so in the more general posts. If you have any interest in those topics be sure to let me know in the comments on those posts and maybe I can expand upon them.

Now I need to do some behind the scenes maintenance to this site, so excuse my progress!

Real Talk: You aren't as self-less as you think you are

lazy-lady-real-talk

This Mother's Day, I asked Mr. LL to just let me sleep in. That was all I wanted, to sleep for as long as I damn well wanted (which, every time I ask for this, I still end up getting up by 8 at the latest, but I was determined to sleep to 10 this time). Life had other plans. Lazy Baby woke up SCREAMING around 3:30 am, when Mr. LL was just coming to bed (we had stayed up to watch Black Panther with a friend and he had to drive the guy back home, then got distracted by his computer game when he got back). She felt like she was burning up, but she didn't have a fever. I changed her diaper and started sobbing as I changed her out of her pjs and into just a pair of shorts (because she WILL rip her diaper off). We gave her some Motrin and Mr. LL took her to the living room to watch Sesame Street to soothe her back to sleep. I slept in the bed but could hear her crying up front so I didn't sleep very well. 6:30 rolls around and I get up and relieve my very tired and frustrated husband, letting him go to bed for a couple of hours. I felt sorry for myself and my lost gift of sleep, but I had a little one who needed extra snuggles and love, and needed breakfast and a diaper change and someone to play with her.

When she finally went down for a nap (a three hour nap), I was holding her for a moment before putting her in her crib and I took the photo at the start of this post. I had been inwardly pouting about not getting the Mother's Day gift I wanted, still, and as my baby fell asleep in my arms, my brain shook me out it with the reminder: You wouldn't even be a mother if it weren't for this little one, and right now she needs you more than you need a couple extra hours of sleep.

Parenthood teaches you to be selfless. You may have thought you were pretty selfless before children, but you weren't. I'm standing by this blanket statement. You weren't. And until you destroy your body, lose your sleep and self-respect, put everything on hold until further notice so you can give your child the love, support, shelter, food and everything else she needs, you aren't as selfless as you thought you were. Having a child, you genuinely put the needs of this other person above your own and your partner's and pretty much anyone else, tbh. 

I'm not saying you are selfish or that you ever were, but there is something about being a parent that really turns a switch in you and while it is very hard, you still love that little person more than anything and anyone in the world. You may feel sorry for yourself and you may feel like you can't do this or you won't make it, but that little smile, those snuggles and you are back to thinking that this is so worth it.